what to do with parents?

An Emily!

First time dad hit me was when I was 11 coming 12, he told me to put my bicycle helmet on and I didn't want to so I swore at him. He slapped me, put his hands round my throat and got up close to my face, whispered how he could just snap my neck right now if he wanted. He left fingernail marks on my neck.

First time my mum hit me, it was she was in a bad mood and as punishment for whatever I'd done wrong, not finished my dinner or whatever, she had set me to folding ironing. When she walked past, she purposely turned and kicked over the whole pile of stuff I'd just folded. I shouted at her, "Grow up!" and she turned and laid into me. That turned into a physical fight, I had marks from that but she probably did too. I was 13.

Incidentally, mum always pulls my hair and kicks or slaps, dad punches and throws me around.

Now I'm 18. The last time my dad hit me, he punched me a few times, threw me on the hall floor, etc. It only ever leaves bruises, and it always includes me shouting at them I hope they're proud of themselves treating their kids like this. That time though, instead of me having to apologise to him, he apologised to me. He said he'd never do it again, and I actually believed him. It was nearly always him that did that thing, so I kinda thought it'd be all done, they'd stop now I'd turned 18.

But mum did it today. I slept in, so I didn't go to church, and I had been supposed to do a duty in church today, working the computer. I went to church 15min late, slipped in the door and just checked someone had covered it for me. I then explained to someone I'd forgotten I'd been on the computer, (I knew the woman, so she laughed at me), then I left, because I was too embarrassed to stay at church late.

When I got home, basically, mum and dad were angry. They were saying stupid stuff like I should have set an alarm (I did) and how rude I was and did I even know who I had to apologise to (I don't need to be told to say thanks to the guy who covered me, I'm not 5). Mum shouted that if I couldn't balance Saturday night social life (my boyfriend stayed to 1am last night) with church, social life would have to go. I disagreed - it's my choice, I'm 18, I'll make my own decisions not to go to church if that was what I wanted. Mum slapped me. I reacted without thinking and slapped her back, backed away, and when she raised her hand again, kicked out and ran to the other side of the counter. I started crying saying sorry I didn't mean to (I'm hand shy because they hit me). She grabbed my hair and punched me in the face, kicked me in the shins, left marks on my throat and arms, and bruises on my head where she ripped some hair out. My dad stopped her, so instead she started throwing things at me and shouting abuse. I got angry and shouted back, worse things.

Is this fair? Do I actually deserve this? I know I'm not blameless because I'm not completely passive, but is this really my fault? And what do I do? I just want them to stop hitting me, I'm so sick of it.

Answer
Wow, this has clearly been going on far too long and you really do need to get help and get out of this situation!

I'd suggest you give Child Line a call if your in the UK on 0800 1111 they can at the very least offer a listening ear and advise on how you may be able to get out of this situation

(if your in a different country search the web for simmilar help lines in your country... )

I really hope you can get help for this situation and get out of it.

All the best :)

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Title Post: what to do with parents?
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