Dont get I
Q: What is the difference between a Firemen and a Police Officer?
A: When people wave to Firemen they wave with all 5 fingers. when they wave to a Police Officer they only use 1 finger
anybody know any others?
Answer
A little girl gets a bike for Christmas. She is stopped at the crosswalk waiting for a green light when a mounted policeman comes up along side of her. He gets down from his horse and asks the little girl if Santa brought her the bike? She smiles a real big toothless grin and says "Yes Sir he did!" The cop then tells her "Well you need to tell Santa that he forgot to bring you a helmet, and that is going to get you a $10 ticket" Still smiling, the little girl asked the cop if Santa brought him his horse? He thought this was really cute so he says "Why yes he did!" The little girl says "You need to tell him that the Pricks are supposed to go on the bottom!"
~~~~~~
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?"
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said--"Well yeah, if that's what they are--I never heard of circle flies". So the farmer says--"Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, "Hey...wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horses asss?"
The farmer says, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horses asss."
The trooper says, "Well, that's a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer says, "Hard to fool them flies though."
~~~~~
Three guys, an Irish guy, a Jewish guy and an Italian guy sign up for the police academy. The Jewish guy goes in first and the Captain says to him, "We have to ask you one question before we admit you in to the academy, Who killed Jesus?"
The Jewish guy says "The Romans did it."
The Captain says, "Right, you're admitted."
The Italian guy goes in next. The Captain asks him the same thing. "We have to ask you one question first before you're admitted to the Police Academy. Who killed Jesus?"
The Italian guy says "The Romans did it."
The Captain says, "Right, you're admitted."
The Irish guy goes in and the Captain repeats the question. The Irish guy says "Gee, I don't know." The Captain tells him to go home and think about it for a week and come back and tell him.
The Irish guy goes home and his wife asked him how his first day went at the academy, and he says to her, "You won't believe it! My first day on the job and they assigned me to a murder case!"
.
A little girl gets a bike for Christmas. She is stopped at the crosswalk waiting for a green light when a mounted policeman comes up along side of her. He gets down from his horse and asks the little girl if Santa brought her the bike? She smiles a real big toothless grin and says "Yes Sir he did!" The cop then tells her "Well you need to tell Santa that he forgot to bring you a helmet, and that is going to get you a $10 ticket" Still smiling, the little girl asked the cop if Santa brought him his horse? He thought this was really cute so he says "Why yes he did!" The little girl says "You need to tell him that the Pricks are supposed to go on the bottom!"
~~~~~~
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?"
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said--"Well yeah, if that's what they are--I never heard of circle flies". So the farmer says--"Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, "Hey...wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horses asss?"
The farmer says, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horses asss."
The trooper says, "Well, that's a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer says, "Hard to fool them flies though."
~~~~~
Three guys, an Irish guy, a Jewish guy and an Italian guy sign up for the police academy. The Jewish guy goes in first and the Captain says to him, "We have to ask you one question before we admit you in to the academy, Who killed Jesus?"
The Jewish guy says "The Romans did it."
The Captain says, "Right, you're admitted."
The Italian guy goes in next. The Captain asks him the same thing. "We have to ask you one question first before you're admitted to the Police Academy. Who killed Jesus?"
The Italian guy says "The Romans did it."
The Captain says, "Right, you're admitted."
The Irish guy goes in and the Captain repeats the question. The Irish guy says "Gee, I don't know." The Captain tells him to go home and think about it for a week and come back and tell him.
The Irish guy goes home and his wife asked him how his first day went at the academy, and he says to her, "You won't believe it! My first day on the job and they assigned me to a murder case!"
.
im off on a bike ride for charity what will i need?
Scott Mars
next month im off n a charity bike ride to john o groates and i was wondering what would i need?
i have a charity but anyone know what else would i need (apart from a bike obv)
Answer
you took the joke right out of my mouth! yes obv you do need a bike and yes it would be helpful to know more specifically how long a race etc.
Hopfully you have a seat bag or some sort of a carrier because you should have
1. Spare tube and patch kit
2. some sort of inflater ie. hand pump or co2 inflater
3. tire levers and a bike multi purpose tool would be good too.
4. Water! depending on the distance a snack or two or three :)
5. Helmet!!!
6. Good comfy safe shoes
7. Good to check out the course before hand so you know what to expect.
Safe happy Riding :)
you took the joke right out of my mouth! yes obv you do need a bike and yes it would be helpful to know more specifically how long a race etc.
Hopfully you have a seat bag or some sort of a carrier because you should have
1. Spare tube and patch kit
2. some sort of inflater ie. hand pump or co2 inflater
3. tire levers and a bike multi purpose tool would be good too.
4. Water! depending on the distance a snack or two or three :)
5. Helmet!!!
6. Good comfy safe shoes
7. Good to check out the course before hand so you know what to expect.
Safe happy Riding :)
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