Selasa, 17 September 2013

whoever tells the bestest and alot of jokes get chosen best answers you could copy and paste from websites?

bicycle helmets extra large heads on JPS main page Student and Parent Handbook School Directory R.R. Rogers ...
bicycle helmets extra large heads image



Cindy





Answer
the blonde wanted to prove that blonde's are NOT stupid so she decited to memorize all the capitals of the us so she did a few days later she heard a man talking about how dumb blonde's are
the blounde was affendid she walked up to the man and taped him on the sholder and said sir i heard u talking about how dumb blonde's are well i am a blonde and i am not dumb I have memorized the capitals of america he said okay and asked her whats the capital of Montana she looked at him waited for a secound and told the man "M" .



A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."


















101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

Statutory Interpretation?




dunningman


The United Kingdom has been concerned at the amount of fatal injuries that have recently happened because of people not wearing safety helmets when riding bikes. In 1995 the United Kingdom became a signatory to the People Safety Treaty (fictitious). Parliament has recently passed the People Safety Act 2009 (fictitious) so that the People Safety Treaty (fictitious) has become legally binding. Section 1(1) of the Act states:











It shall be an offence to fail to wear a safety helmet whilst in control of a bicycle, skateboard or other such vehicle






Consider this provision with regards to:






1.Tom, who was delivering a bicycle to a bike shop. He was carrying the bike and the police arrested him. He was convicted and appeals.





2.Dick was riding a bike but had a safety hat (from a construction site) on. He, like Tom, was arrested and convicted and also appeals.





3.Harriet had just bought a new hover board, which floats on the air and does not have wheels. These were not available for purchase before the Act was passed. She was not wearing a safety helmet and was convicted. She also wants to appeal the decision.





Counsel for the appellants wishes to cite a Canadian Supreme Court case (fictitious) that defines what type of headgear that can be classed as a safety helmet. They also wish to cite the American Civil Safety Code (fictitious) which provides a comprehensive list of safety helmets. There is also a recent Australian negligence case (fictitious) that states that a hover board is not the same as a bike because it is mechanically propelled.






Discuss the rules and other aids used in statutory interpretation which the judges, in the Court of Appeal, could use to help them arrive at a decision in each of the appeals.




Really Stuck on this???



Answer
1) Tom has excellent grounds for appeal. He can claim 'false arrest' although that phrase could vary depending on which English speaking country. It is no different to carrying a large box with or without a helmet. The principle or 'spirit of the law' was violated because it was intended for helmets to be worn while riding a bicycle and such. YOU would have to read the rest of that assignment to see if there are additional clauses in that legislation. I know it's only an assignment but no Act contains only a few lines. (Politicians aren't clear communicators in the written language). You will need to look up your country's laws on citizens' rights, police powers, criminal appeal rights, etc. for the right lingo. Any honest magistrate would laugh the stupid constables out of court.

2) Dick also has grounds to appeal but not as strong as the guy in #1. However, that would depend on what the helmet looks like. Some construction site safety helmets don't have straps built-in to strap firmly under the chin. A bicycle, skateboard type helmet requires that strap so that those flimsily designed helmets don't fly off. Some construction safety helmets are really tough and better than a bicycle helmet with more padding inside. That hypothetical law simply states "safety helmet" so arguing on semantics and type of helmet could work for construction helmets to be worn as an alternative. The attorney could use that Canadian case as a relevant example in the UK since their helmet law there is new and the definition of what is a "safety helmet" isn't clear. The lawyer might have some but not as much help from the American Civil Safety list because many of the helmets listed won't have a strap. It would only be helpful in terms of the general definition of "safety helmet" as stated in the hypothetical Act. Now, a motorcycle helmet in Australia also needs to be strapped but I think in the USA they can still wear such helmets without the extra stability of a strap because motorcycle helmets are heavy and wouldn't easily fly off the head without a chin strap. But the idea is that if a person falls off a moving pushbike or bike their helmet will still be attached in order to reduce the severity of head injury, possibly leading to death, from the helmet flying off or loosened to expose a previously covered part of the cranium.

3) A hover board wouldn't be acceptable as a road worthy vehicle in Australia, fictional or not. They would be allowed on footpaths only. So, if there is no law about cyclists on footpaths wearing helmets then she wouldn't need a helmet too if she was arrested while on the footpath. However, a bicycle helmet is required for riding a bicycle even on a foothpath in Australia. It all depends on whether the UK, where you are, has a law about wearing helmets when riding a bicycle on footpaths. But if she was arrested while on the road not wearing a helmet, not only could she be said to have broken that new law, she could also be accused of violating the law that defines what vehicles are allowed on roads. Then again, re-read that hypothetical piece of law. It doesn't say either 'road' or 'footpath.' She could say that she accidentally veered onto the road without a helmet when the police saw her because any hover board is difficult to control/steer. Those are the mechanically propelled and non-road vehicle arguments she could use in her favour. However, the police prosecutor could be pedantic and say that a hover board can be controlled simply because of the steering aspect regardless of not having wheels. Also, they could say that even with limited steering she could endanger herself if she fell off or some vehicle hit her. But I think after much pontificating from both sides, she could escape the fine because a hover board is more like a toy, if that is argued clearly. Besides, it doesn't rise off the ground as high as bicycle wheels do and it definitely doesn't go fast. This is 2010 not 2085 like the "Back to the Future II" movie. Plus the hover board doesn't have any wheels, or brakes I add, which all road worthy vehicles, including bicycles must have - even though bicycles are allowed on footpaths.

You really need to do your own chapter readings and research-reading on other possibly relevant Acts that I've given clues on above. You also need to dig up some past cases if you're actually majoring in law, intending to become a lawyer. I don't have the jargon, as mentioned before, or the "rules and other aids used in statutory interpretation" at my fingertips. Those aren't easily and quickly found online. Yet, I didn't give you false info like the guy who quoted figures without a source. I do know that I've given you more than enough to understand this assignment and to actually plagiarise the many discussion points I've raised and answered as well as could be outside the L & E section. Oo, I got a feeling that I'm going to get top marks for you when you get your graded paper back! (Maybe I could've been a lawyer, LOL, if I had found that interesting).




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