Jumat, 22 November 2013

What do you like doing that annoys others?

bicycle helmet jokes on Inflatable-Helmet-PVC-Helmet.jpg
bicycle helmet jokes image



tOuz


i like being awesome


Answer
My list

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Insist that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniff incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more at any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

What penalty would this provoke?

Q. If you didn't wear a bike helmet as the law was recently passed, what penalty happens? It states if you're under 18 and riding a bicycle, you need to wear a helmet. Idk if my parents are playing a joke because my kids haven't heard about it, and neither have my siblings.


Answer
It's not really a serious crime. Especially for someone under 18. You might just get a stern talking-to by the cop. You might get a ticket (which, of course, your parents would pay). Or the cop might just stop you and ask you if you knew you had to have a helmet. Some cops are very gentle with kids, others really hate kids. 8^)

If you were out cycling with your family, Mom and Dad and two or three kids, and nobody was wearing a helmet, the adults might get a ticket. They should know the law.

When I was 18 I got my first motorscooter. It had a rear-view mirror but it vibrated so badly that I couldn't see anything in it, so I just took it off. I got stopped by a California Highway Patrolman. He pulled me over, then he talked to me for about 10 minutes. I hadn't known I was required to have a mirror (working or not) and he was very kind and friendly. He didn't give me a ticket. He saw that I was a beginner and he gave me some safety tips, and actually he taught me a few things I didn't know. It was the beginning of the Summer and he said he hoped I would have a great Summer on my bike and be careful and safe. Then he got back in his car and left.




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